Borowitz is something.

Don't be ashamed to cry in front of the mirror. Just close your eyes and...

What a nice pair of boobs?
Would you give me the honor of licking them !

me-Who cares?
her-Who cares.

If anything makes you happy, beg for more and don't be shy about it.
I prefer to be embarrassed and happy, rather than proud and sad.

Erase "Sadness" from your dictionary of life.

"Life is just one grand sweet song, so start the music."
-Anon.

How many times have you said this to someone?
" You are much better than me"
Change "better" to "nicer" or "wiser" and count again.

Stories make sense, real life doesn't.

If you are a goat and/or a philosopher, you might wanna read this:

This is joke , ( or is it?):

I've been surfing through some sites about feminism.
Let me tell you that i'm up to here with feminisim.
I just need some courage to take a knife and cut my penis off.
Maybe that'll do it!

Some people are idiots.
I'm not one of them.

Everything has a funny side to it , like my big fat juicy butt.

From "Jenny & The Jaws of Life" by Jincy Willett:

Dear Betty:
You hear from so many unfortunates with serious problems
that i feel a bit ashamed to take up you time this way. I am
an attractive woman of 59, my thighs are perfectly smooth ,
my waist unthickened, I still have both my breasts and all
my teeth, in fact I am two dress sizes smaller that I was at
eighteen. My three grown daughters are intelligent, healthy,
and independent. My husband and I are as much in love as
when we were first married, despite the depth of our familiarity
and the, by now, considerable conflation of our tastes, political
beliefs, preferences in music and art, and, of course, memories.
He still interests and pleasures me, miraculously our sex life
remains joyous, inventive, and mutually fulfilling. I continue to
adore the challenge and variety of my career as an ethnic
dance therapist. We have never had to worry about money.
Our country home is lovely, and very old, and solidly set down
in a place of incomparable,ever shifting beauty. our many friends,
old and new, are delightful people, amusing and wise, and every
one of them honorable and a source of strenght to us.
And yet, with all of this and more, I am frequently very sad, and
cannot rid myself of a growing, formless, yet very real sense of
devastating loss,no less hideous for its utter irrationality.
Forgive me, but does this make any sense to you?
Niobe.


Dear Niobe,
Certainly. You're lying about the sex.
Betty.

Sun rising.
Son raising.

Love me when I'm gone cause you can't appericiate the present me.
Yes, that is true.

Nobody's life is quite free of pain , sorrow , and unhappiness. Isn't it a matter of
learning to live with them rather than avoing them?

Forget the past
Fuck the future
Walk along the razor's edge of NOW